i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
