Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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