The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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