okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
