you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
