i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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