There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
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I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize