We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize