We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
