Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
