The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Randomize