Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
