She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
