The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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