you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
