Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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