So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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