yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize