I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
