Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
