where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
