just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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