I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
