Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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