I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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