Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
