If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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