If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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