Do vagina's smell?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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