the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
