He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
