I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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