Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
