Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize