Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
