So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
