You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
