Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
