I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
