Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
