i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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