careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
