those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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