You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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