These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
