You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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