Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
