Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
