my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize