It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
