i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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