I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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