there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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