true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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