Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
