we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
