her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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