i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
