i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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