what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
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I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
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Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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