I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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