so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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