Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.