My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.