I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were trust falling into bushes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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