you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step