How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
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Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
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I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians